Stability – what is it?
If you read my books “Stability you can eat!?” and “Stability as a way of life” (or watched my online seminar), you will have learned about a whole range of ways to regain your lost stability. I am sure that you have found something for yourself that you will start with.
But what does it feel like when stability is achieved? Here is a slightly modified excerpt from my book “Stability as a way of life”to give you a sense of why it’s worth setting out on your journey:
Being stable means not being at the mercy of the mood swings, but that they can be managed by the patients. One is in control and nobody else is. It is up to the patient whether the illness controls them or they control the illness. Patients can shape their own life; can be the one in the driver seat; the one who determines what should be done and not just endure (medical) actions.
That’s what I call autonomy.
Being stable means, to accept that one may have a broader range of feelings than others. This can be seen as an opportunity and resource rather than a scourge. One can accept that one will sometimes be carried away by the feelings, that one may quickly burst into tears and sometimes feel the pain of others physically. This no longer is scary, but is part of one’s own personality development, which no longer needs to be fended off. Feelings are allowed to be there, even if they are strong. It is possible to learn to trust these feelings, because they are real. One can perceive the own empathy as enriching. It is possible to develop strategies to perceive, categorize and endure strong feelings, to emotionally separate one’s own suffering from the suffering of others and to protect oneself from being overwhelmed.
That’s what I call self-acceptance.
Being stable meansbeing in control of oneself even when things get critical, the mood threatens to tip or unhelpful thoughts arise. Accepting help is not weakness, but the realization that one can no longer do it alone. Patients can learn to give themselves permission to be weak and to need help from others. Nevertheless, patients can decide for themselves when and to whom they allow therapeutic or medical support for a limited period of time.
That’s what I call insight
Being stable means not giving in to the allure of mania. It is a deceptive temptation. Vigilance is therefore required. The mania is not longer needed to articulate and act out one’s needs. You now have the resources to express your wishes appropriately and non-violently so that you can take good care of yourself without disregarding or harming the interests of others. You learn that you can be who you are without having to bend yourself in order to be seen.
That’s what I call self-care
Being stable means, to focus on the beautiful, peaceful and creative aspects of life. We enjoy the little things, for example in nature, and consciously notice the seasonal changes. Enjoyment with all the senses is not something forbidden or a waste of time, but a conscious experience. You learn to give yourself permission to pause and perceive what is – without judging. You learn to be mindful, understanding and reconciliatory with yourself. This also helps when dealing with others. Energy follows attention – looking for new and beautiful things every day helps to direct this attention.
That’s what I call mindfulness
Being stable means feeling good in your own body and nourishing it. Good, restful sleep is often the result. It’s easy to get out of bed in the morning. The normal mood is characterized by cheerfulness without manic traits and vividity without being hyper. Being stable means feeling your own body powerfully and enjoying what it is capable of.
That’s what I call resilience
Being stable means, to see stress as a pleasant challenge. One can concentrate well, think better and faster without feeling drained and exhausted. One can feel a pleasant cognitive performance. But it also means learning to sense when things are getting too much and to avoid excessive demands by taking timely countermeasures.
That’s what I call resistance
Being stable also means, to make inner peace with oneself and the illness. We can not change the past, but we can adopt a different attitude towards it and draw conclusions for the future. You can learn to avoid what is not good for you. You can find strategies for dealing with unhelpful thoughts – e.g. distraction and activity. You live more and more in the here and now and focus on what you can do yourself.
That’s what I call satisfaction
Being stable means being able to use skills and abilities for ourselves and others. You can learn to appreciate what you are capable of, how you can use it to serve yourself and others and what activities you enjoy. You focus more and more on what you are capable of doing and you strengthen your own strengths. You no longer struggle with what you are not capable of doing.
That’s what I call self-efficacy
Being stable means, to live in inner and outer coherence. You learn to look at your illness from a different perspective. It is no longer the center of attention. You can turn away from this and focus on your own healthy parts.
It means learning the causes of your illness, knowing your triggers and counter-strategies. However, being stable also means not being tempted to be careless and being careful to live in such a way that you can remain stable.
This can include, for example, having blood parameters tested regularly so that everything remains in balance. Or to consciously eat the things that you know are good for you and provide the necessary nutrients for your brain. Dietary supplements can help where this cannot be achieved through diet alone.
This lifestyle will become a habit, an integral part of everyday life and therefore easy to manage.
That is stability for me
And I call all of this together: mental health,
because stability can be a way of life.